Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love. Sure, if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic.
According to Pinterest, I'm severely under-utilizing mason jars.
"Are you single?" "No, I'm in a committed endless discussion about where to have dinner."
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments
"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?" - No. I'd hit him with knuckles.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
Does running out of money count as exercise?
Honestly, I've never seen anyone fall because of a banana peel.
Home is where your wi-fi connects automatically.
Laughing is a great medicine but if your laughing for no reason..bro you need medicine
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
Just found this new app that tells you which of your family members are racist. It's called Facebook.
When books were first invented I'll bet some people would pretentiously say, I liked the book but the traveling storyteller was much better.
Running away *will* solve my problems. My weight problems.
I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him.
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed


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